I Hate Toners



I know you guys might think that I am riding the workout thing a little too hard. Just like I think you ride the dick too hard. But if you don't point out my flaws I will restrain from posting yours here on my site. Deal? Anyway, 3 months ago, I made the first decision in my life that has not been identified as a complete mistake instantly. I borrowed a book from my friend. Not only did I blankly stare at the cover, but I actually read it. I know what you're thinking:

"He can read?"

Simple thoughts comprised of small incomplete sentences as usual, but that is besides the point. In this book there is a rare treasure that will not be recognized by many people. This book contains a special tidbit of emotion that has become all but lost in the "civilized" world we live in. This book contains TRUE HATRED AND CONTEMP for EVERY PERSON YOU WILL EVER MEET. Have you ever thought that you were doing things properly? You were wrong. In this book there is only one way of doing things. There is only one way to lift a weight. There is only one goal to achieve. I will not blow smoke up your ass. I take everything I hear and read with a grain of salt, but this book was different; since it was comprised of 100% salt, I could not disregard any of what I read. Look for the book. If you are tired of being a pussywillow scrawny bitch then buy the book. It has a blue cover with a white picture of some caveman lifting a barrel on the front. You cant miss it. It's called Dinosaur Training.

I know that you have the attention span of Rosie Odonnell in a bakery, so here are some simple pics along with quotations. I have actually witnessed all of these scenes in the 24 hour "spa" that I frequent. Now look at them quickly before you ram another cookie in your trash compactor ass you tubby bitch.

<ridiculus douche at the gym>
I know it's a shitty picture. And that's supposed to be mirror. Fuck you.

<benevolant douche at the gym>
Again looking in a mirror. It doesn't make much sense, but it was worth depicting. I think he is talking in the third person.

<dball random douche at the gym>

Back on topic: I have gained 35 pounds in 3 months. With no protein or steroids. The dinosaur method works well for me. I can only hope to someday be as huge and arrogant as those depicted above.

 

September 2nd, 2008

mail me? stasis@stasisrant.com

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