I need to know how it ended. Are all the freak dwarves and cannibal goatmen going to defeat the armies of the good?
Will prince Caspian and his army be slaughtered like the traitors they are?
Who would make a worse president: the lion, the witch, or Obama?
Admittedly, I don't know much, but here is what I do know:
I was suddenly on a plane. I don't know what is happening. There were snakes there. I was black.
I screamed "get these motherfucking snakes off this motherfucking plane!" wait, that never happened. Let me try again:
I was on a plane, the flight was eighteen hours long. I thought that I would watch a movie on the flight. Because
the control panel for the TV was impossible to use, I selected Narnia 2 by accident. Little did I know that the movie was in fact
18 hours and 10 minutes long.
I began watching the movie. By the near end I had laughed and cried myself to utter exhaustion. I really and sincerely cared what would happen to Matilda and her fellow orphans as they fought for the rights of the entire ginger race in another dimension. Would the closet dwellers of that world go through an instant change of heart and accept them? Or would they require many, many more leaders and decades to construct a movement which would secure their rights as equals amongst their once immortal overlords?
Then, without any notice, the movie had ended. Right when the giant tiger mouthed the words: "let's wake up your friends" to little Matilda, the plane shut off all auxillary power to my eraser-sized movie screen. Who were the tiger's friends? What the fuck happened? since I have no patience or imagination I want someone to tell me before I go out and get labeled as the most gay 13 yr old in the state by renting that piece of fecal matter with my own money.
c'mon guys, don't leave me hangin'. What the fuck happened to the Narnians?
© STASIS August 7th, 2008