Swine Flu

Here we are in 09 and I recall hearing people say that the day we have a black president is the day pigs will start flying. Well read up hillbillies: 100 days into the first term of the first black president; swine flew. I got nothing. But you already knew that.

So I personally have no protection against disease transmission whatsoever. I rely on the fact that I have an excellent immune system to keep me healthy and alive for the most part. My immune system is so good that I have got over everything with no help. I got over appendicitis with only surgery and 3 months. I got over both of my hernias, and after only 4 years I can barely tell that my internals were sodomized with a scalpel and rammed full of teflon. My AIDS even cleared up after a few months, go figure. I'm friggin' invincible. Thats the problem with the swine flu. Apparently, The healthier you are the more likely you are to get it and die. That would suck to be in a coffin at your funeral and have a huge pink curly tail sticking out of your pants. At least then I would be tested and they would know that the HIV caught up with me after all, even though I never believed that it would.

I didn't realize how fuct the human race was because of this epidemic until I checked google maps. What I have discovered may astound you:

2nd america has Pig Flu because of googl's crappy zoom out too far feature

now you can die in peace knowing that there is a duplicate you only ~3000 miles away and it is possible that he could live and waste his life in the same manner that you are doing now. Get a job.

 

© stasis April 30th, 2009

stasis@stasisrant.com

HIV is not funny you sick bastard