So its 2011. Big deal. 4,000 birds dropped dead in Arkansas and people were like wtf. Nobody cares at all the hit count was nothing compared to paris Hiltons porn video. Society is shit. Here's some funny shit:
In disney movies all the guy heroes are necrophiliacs. seriously. They are always kissing dead chicks. And kissing sleeping chicks. If you like to kiss sleeping people that should be a red flag right there since it is basically a gateway drug to the heavier stuff. Next thing you know you will be the star of sleeping beauty in your own bedroom until the cops find your wife strangled to death with a tiara on her cold lifeless head and a poison apple in her mouth with a sock. you sick fuck.
You know how shotguns are called "street sweepers?" That seems wierd since most street (gang) related homocides are carried out with handguns or gats. I propose we change the official shotgun nickname to "cube sweepers" in light of the way the economy makes the average working man feel like he has to murder his fellow employees. And guess what, when you have to go to the shooting range between 9 and 5, a pussy .38 snubnose isn't going to do it son.
I spent all day today. Yes, literally an 8 hour day. I spent all fucking day cleaning drains in my tennants apartment. First I got out the snake (one of the shitty useless ones) and rammed it into the shower to discover that there were roots in there. Never mind the semen and obvious pubic hair, there were fucking roots in there. I pulled out A HUGE WAD of roots with no other part of a plant. Now don't get me wrong, I understand that plants have a thing for destroying stuff to get what they want (just like women do,) but there isn't another plant for at least 200'. So how the shit are there roots in there!? I mean, don't plants need light? Air? I have been lied to because the fact that there is a thriving organism in my brother's semen and pubic hair means that our understanding of biology has not matured very much since the 17th century.
After doing that in the sink as well I had no luck nothing was draining still. So I went outside, got a shovel and a pick, and excavated about a metric ton of mud and shit to get a look at the drainpipe. It looked like it was installed by President and Non-Citizen Obama Hitler Hussein Bealzibub himself. It was so fuct up and convoluted and had a joint about every foot that had come loose for like 15' and the run was completely straight it could have been just one piece of pipe. But no that would have been stupid. Oh yeah, and I also found like 8 razor blades in there. Real funny dickheads its not like I don't have shit else to do but clean up after your faggoty nut shaving/cock sucking parties.
So I fixed it like a good bitch.
2010 was lame. 2011 : I'm going to beat you like the red-headed soulless daywalking bitch you are now come and get some
while I'm still well above .08
© stasis January 3rd, 2011